Well, technically speaking, nothing is ever my fault. I have mastered the art of blaming others for my problems. In fact, I am a self-declared guru of that ancient art. When I get a chance to counsel The Young, that is to say, any time I happen to be around The Young, especially but not limited to times that I may have had too much wine, I give them the benefit of The One Great Piece of Advice I Know: Always Blame Others.
It’s a shame that it doesn’t spell out A B C because that would be a really sweet rule.
But I digress. Currently the thing that isn’t my fault is that I may be a tad more cranky than usual.
My lovely doc with a strange man I do not know.
I blame my doctor.
I just had my annual physical, which was two years late because going to the doctor requires being at the house in the burbs, as well as planning ahead, neither of which I do much of. I actually love my doc because he answers his e-mail and his cell phone whenever I need him, and on several occasions lately he has “mentioned” that he sure would like to get me in there for a looksee.
I finally felt guilty enough to e-mail him and admit that I was never going to personally make the appointment due to my extreme lack of “executive skills” as they say in ADD-speak, and that Rick was going to have to make the appointment and tell me when to show up. The next day, his girl called my guy and I was set up.
But back to why I’m crankier than usual. During our diagnostic chitchat, the doc, who I used to love but now maybe not so much, said three dreaded words to me: No more naps.
Whuuuuttttttttt??????
I was issuing my perennial complaint about not being able to get to sleep before 3 a.m. because at night my bed is filled with sticks and rocks and straw and itching powder, but that in the early afternoons my red sofa takes me in its arms and cuddles me into the most lovely long naps, and he said, “You know, the rule is for every hour you sleep during the day, that’s two hours you lose at night.” So I said, “Oh, so I can get some of my nighttime sleep during the day, right?” and he said: “No more naps.”
He has some cockamamie idea that if I were to stop napping and go to bed at a Decent Hour night after night that eventually I may be able to sleep like a normal person. That may very well be true.
One thing I know for sure: Lack of naps makes me cranky.
And it’s not my fault.
{ 12 comments }
With all due respect to your Doctor, that’s a load of hoo-ha.
From a medical point of view, our brain-waves dip between 2 and 4 pm in the afternoon (just type “Body Clock” into Google) and we therefore benefit from a 20-40 minute nap.
From my point of view, they’re completely essential because it means you can say you’re still groggy when it’s coming up to to tea-making time and can therefore blame any culinary disasters on said grogginess ….
jellybelly-jellybrain´s last blog ..Room To Rent
Have you thought about a new doctor? You can always find one that will tell you what you want to hear! But it’s not so easy to find a doctor that answers emails and cell phone calls!
Nap anyway….then don’t get into bed until 3:00 am when you get tired. OR, try napping in your bed and sleeping on the couch?
Lola…again´s last blog ..Holy-Moly!
1 hour nap = 2 hours of sleep at night? I don’t know who campaigned on that rule, but I sure as hell didn’t vote for them.
On the other hand, could I nap 4 hours and just stay up for 20?
omawarisan´s last blog ..Can’t Park It, Can’t Buy It.
The one hour nap means two hourss of sleep loss at night must be a “humans only” rule. My history of cats and dogs tell me this just isn’t true with them unless my cats celebrated 60-hour days and my dogs only recognize 45-hour days. I’d be hating life if my employer recognized days over 23 hours.
Ken´s last blog ..The Daily Slog through Hell and Back
oh, yeah. I remember now. nothing was ever your fault when you were growing up either. I used to get a beating from the folks for an offense to be named later, and you would be smiling the whole time. I probably should have hung around the house more, for self-protection.
at least there is a difference between doctors and God.
Gee whiz Bob. Shake it off!
Getting old sure does suck. I used to take an afternoon nap and THEN sleep a solid nine hours at night. Now, maybe six hours with three bathroom visits spread throughout.
jen duncan´s last blog ..August 30
I’ve always been told that naps are okay as long as you never nap for more than 30 minutes, and never after 2:00 p.m. That does not mean you can take a 30 minute nap at 12:30, another 30 minute nap at 1:05, and another 30 minute nap at 1:40. One nap. Set an alarm.
Call it a compromise.
Sandi´s last blog ..Sister’s Choice in progress
Bob! I didn’t know the parents always followed through on my beating requests! Score!
So, for all you Sensible Nappers. I believe my problem might have been that my naps were three hours long. Maybe a tad bit much?
I bow to you, oh humble guru of not-my-fault. I’m trying to walk in your path (see today’s post). I do agree that naps are discombobulating, but mine are always of the 2 hour variety, and it just feels like I was woken up in the middle of the night and I can’t wait to get back to bed.
Too bad you don’t drink – I crash every night around 9:30!
Melissa´s last blog ..Enforced nothingness
Why don’t you move your sofa in the bedroom, and then replace your bed with Folger’s Crystals? I am no help. I sleep 3-4 hours a night and don’t nap. You’re way ahead of the game then I am. Nap on, Kathi… nap on!
happy zombie´s last blog ..Kick app toys
After just waking from a good two hour Saturday nap, I can say that sleeping at night is overrated. Heck, I can nap while the kids are up and bugging the world and I can stay up and have the house to myself while everyone sleeps at night! I say keep up the naps. . . yeah, maybe three hours is a bit much. Go for two and then to bed at night at 1 a.m.;)
Diana´s last blog ..We interrupt this useless blog to bring you a post!
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