During all my elementary school years, I was the kid who raised her hand when the question was, “Whose mom can . . . ?” because “My mom doesn’t work!” Nope, my mom just had five kids and a dog, a homeless pregnant cat now and then, and the occasional fruit jar containing a tarantula or a gecko or some kind of snake that My Brother Bob had adopted. So Mom always had time to chaperone, or drive, or bake cupcakes for 30.
Except for Election Days. On Election Day, Mom became a Poll Worker. So, once every couple of years or so, she would be up and out of the house before we kids were even awake, so that she could get to the polling place bright and early. Having Mom gone when I woke up was always unsettling for me, but it was nearly tragic (in little girl terms) that one time in third grade.
I had long thick hair that grew down past my waist. Since I was Mom’s last child, she might have been clinging to the young princessy look for me for as long as she could get away with it. Or maybe she just liked to hear me whine when she lathered me up with Extra Tears Extra Harsh shampoo and then used a fine tooth comb on the tangles, who knows. At any rate, long thick loose hair didn’t work very well on a third grade tomboy, so Mom always put it up in a pony tail or braids.
Unfortunate bangs
But that one time, on Election Day, she wasn’t there, and so that left Dad to deal with the hair. Daddy knew how to do almost everything and I’m sure he figured a simple pony tail was no big deal, so he brushed and scrunched and pulled all that hair into a #64 heavy-duty rubber band and sent me out the door. I caught a sideways glance at myself in the mirror and I knew it wasn’t right, but I didn’t say a thing as I set out for my walk to school.
As soon as I got out of sight of our house, though, I pulled out that poor pitiful ponytail that was way off center and spewing hair out in all directions. I knew two things for sure: One, I couldn’t show up at school with that sad ponytail, and two, I sure couldn’t let Daddy know that he had failed when he was trying so hard to fill in for Mom. So I shook out my hair and let it hang free, and later, when Miss Pratt, our hearty, beefy, never married (not that there’s anything wrong with that!) gym teacher yelled at me for not having my hair up for track and field that day, I kept quiet and shot her my best fish eyed glare.
In other news, Barry Goldwater was reelected to the United States Senate that day.
{ 11 comments }
Good for your Mom. And now my 18 year old niece is working the polls this year. So exciting!
Why is it that no man can do a pony right? You should see the things my daughter comes home from her dad’s with.
OH Kathi. You gave me my laugh out loud for the day. Thanks!!
Your words today hit so close to home! I am that Mom, that works from home for her husband’s business, so everyone thinks I don’t work, no it’s not that I don’t work — I just don’t get a paycheck! hehehe, I am sure a lot of moms live this too, our paychecks are good report cards, happy, thriving children, etc.
But back to the ponytail issue…. we have this dilemma here too, I say to Big Red, “You have 2 sisters, and you never learned how to do braids or assemble ponys?!!” his response; a big “Nope”.
Yes, I am that mom that my kids say ” My mom can do it!” While it is flattering that they believe that all I have to do is stay up overnight (again) and it’s like the cupcake fairies came, (just made 120 of them for the Creston Halloween bash), and the event signs are all painted, etc.
Luckily — the polls here are already managed by the one Community Club I do not belong to (yet). That means I have about 2 hours and 35 minutes before the first child is due home (after kindergarten) that means I am ALONE (YAY!) and going to enjoy by actually TAKING a shower and not just running through it like I usually have to.
(i hope this posts OK, sometimes it doesn’t work the first time, I repost, and then by the next day — the lost post shows up as well as the re-done one, and then I really look like I am losing my mind…. oh boy)
In our school district, homemade food IS NOT ALLOWED at school functions. Health inspector issues or something. Frankly, it’s a big relief. I’m not branded “bad mom” when I provide Safeway cupcakes.
this is hilarious.
sadly enough, I am still the victim of Unfortunate Bangs . . .
Love the braids! How cute were you??? If my husband were left to do the girls hair…well let’s just not think about that!
I had long hair in elementary school too. I have many pictures with my hair in either braids or piggy tails. For some strange reason my bangs were looking a LOT like yours in that picture. What was up with that whole thing? I know my mom was our hair stylist but for real didn’t she know how to cut a straight line?
I make my kids go for those hair styles that are all messy. That way you can’t see my crappy cutting job. Just looks like I meant to do that:)
I read every blog entry – I just have had a cleverness block and somehow I feel unworthy to comment if I don’t have something brillaintly clever to say (probably another ADD thing). You always keep me laughing then walking away only to pause for reflection. I laugh everyday working at the school – today a second grader told me he voted (in our mock elections) for Rocco Bama. I am not sure they can even grasp what today’s election means. Whether or not you agree with the political platform of either party I am grateful that our country has become the sort of place where an African American and a Woman (I just realized I capatlized that – and I am going to go ahead and leave it that way) can be on the presidential ticket. We aren’t where we should be, but we have certainly come a long way from where we used to be.
Well I think that the ponytails were great. My mother always made me get a Pixie. have you ever seen a Pixie? It looked crazy. I looked like a small child with a mixer bowl stuck on my head. I should have opted for a mixer bowl. At least they came in nice colors.
I like to visualize the fish eye look I’m going to have to practice that the next chance that I get.
Sarah, you don’t have to say anything brilliant to comment, I mean, just look at the rest of . . . oh, never mind.
And to the rest of y’all–we girls really do have Hair Issues, don’t we?
Comments on this entry are closed.