Dang it! How I hate being put in my place by those Russkies! I shouldn’t be surprised, though. My husband’s grandparents emigrated from Russia, so I am not unaware of their strengths and Communist charms. My father-in-law Nick (His Real Name Since he is No Longer Living and Able to Sue Me or Have Me Killed) finally got to travel to The Mother Country, as he called it, and came home praising everything from The Gum (not Doublemint, the Moscow department store), to St. Petersburg, to the fizzy water served up at vending machines.
If you asked me, I would have said he liked it a Little Too Much. I’m pretty sure some brainwashing took place, because after that visit, he and my mother-in-law spent a lot of the rest of their lives visiting Nick’s Commie Masters, as I called their jaunts to Yugoslavia and China.
Yes, China. (Insert imaginary eerie sound track here.) Which brings me to how the Russians have humiliated me. Well, one Russian in particular. Dmitri Sautin. The guy is, like, 67 years old or so (give or take). He hasn’t just got numerous diving injuries. He has been stabbed and shot and beat up and left for dead. He is participating in his fifth Olympic games, which is longer than some of you have been alive. And he takes this aged, broken old body and steps up for a silver medal in men’s synchronized diving, which, by the way, is definitely Not Gay. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)
Which makes me feel really lame for letting a little Chardonnay (well, in my defense, it was more than a little) come between me and my blog post last night.
I suck.
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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Caroline 08.20.08 at 11:41 am
That Russian diver is amazing! I love that you can see all his “war wounds.” Some humans are truly amazing… When I watch the Olympics I feel like such a loser (athletic wise).
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Judy 08.20.08 at 12:40 pm
Well, Dimitri is defintiely amazing; I mean, there’s really no Getting Around That. BUT - now - think about this: what happens to him when he has a little - or in your defense -more than a little, Chardonnay? Hey? Hey?
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Diana 08.20.08 at 3:28 pm
Crap! Somehow I missed the Russian! Maybe it was that extended potty break?
Well, I know how you feel about awards but I still gave you some because it’s the next best thing to a gold medal. Actually, maybe it’s better. You don’t have to get in skimpy clothes and mumble through the national anthem with a million cameras on you. You don’t even have to pass this baby on or nothen! I’m making up the rules here:)
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Busty LaRue 08.20.08 at 4:17 pm
I missed the synchro dives, but I saw his solo dives and he was amazing! They even panned in on his stab wound scars, and I can’t believe he is still diving after that! WOW!
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Ellie 08.20.08 at 4:24 pm
HOW many times must I tell you? You do NOT suck. You the opposite of suck. Which, um, I guess means you blow. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.
Now excuse me while I open a-nother bottle of Charbonnay. Which is what my sister calls it. Try it, it’s fun. Plus, we get it for $3 a bottle…………
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Kathi D 08.20.08 at 4:53 pm
Thank you all for validating me. I may live through this troubled time. Especially now, knowing that I don’t suck, I blow.
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foolery 08.20.08 at 5:58 pm
How did I miss the Russkie diver with stabs and massive head wounds and bleeding ulcers and stuff? Geez, the ‘lympics must have come back on after I went to bed, because I stayed up until the bloody end yet again last night. Drinking Two Buck Chuck, of course. Re, not Charbonnay.
I don’t think you suck OR blow. Which doesn’t mean you’re not breathing, it means . . . um . . . inert? I need to work this out. Be right back.
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Ellie 08.20.08 at 6:40 pm
See? You either suck or you blow. I just don’t see getting around that. The key? Meaning it in the nicest possible, yeah, well, you know.
Anyway. Um, Inert? I’m on that.
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Melissa 08.20.08 at 6:54 pm
I wonder if I’m imagining things, or if that was really a reference to a certain John Lovitz skit there at the end? I haven’t been watching the Olympics due to lack of tv reception here in BFE, but I felt the need to comment here in case I wasn’t imagining things. (Not that theres anything wrong with that…) Whats a gaybee?
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Karen 08.21.08 at 7:38 am
How the hell did I miss this Guy? Oh right, I have no TV in my room right now and all I do is read.
I have to agree with Ellie you blow, her words not mine!
However, I still think men’s synchronized diving in panties AS A WHOLE is totally gay.
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