You know that I am All About Knowing My Own Self, and after some recent rigorous self-examination, I have decided that I will skip all the outdoor concerts this summer.
Last year Bob Dylan came to play at the Mid-State Fair. As soon as I heard he was coming, I secured tickets for four Rilly Good Seats in the 7th row. I explained the rules regarding Mr. Dylan and myself to my seatmates while Rick nodded furiously and occasionally made little circles with his index finger near his temple.
The Rules
- Kathi gets the Best Seat.
- Kathi gets unlimited usage of the best binoculars.
- There will be No Talking to Kathi during the concert.
- There will be no entering nor exiting during Mr. Dylan’s performance, and most important,
- Do not, under any circumstances, get between Kathi and Mr. Dylan.
Unfortunately, not everyone at the venue got the memo, including the two enormous jerkoffs Right. In. Front. Of. Me. They clearly were of the mistaken belief that Bob Dylan was The Grateful Dead, and it was 1967 instead of 2007, as they insisted on shaking their oversized asses in my face throughout the entire thing. Now, I am not against some Good Times at a concert, but seriously now, is Masters of War a dance hit? Idiot Wind, a rollicking summer fantasy? And Only a Pawn in Their Game, is that a hip happy party groove?
I won’t bore you with all the details of the evening. In short, I threw down, they ran for the security guard, and nobody ended up in jail. Or got hurt (real bad). Anyway, although there are a few tempting shows coming our way, since nobody will ever go to a concert with me again I find that concerts just aren’t as much fun as they used to be, I’m staying home this summer.
{ 7 comments }
I find it truly unfortunate that you would let a couple of throw back hippies ruin your chance to see a great concert. if it were me, I would have slipped them some xanax. I’m just throwing it out there as an option in the future!
Dylan??? Wasn’t he that HOT guy on Beverly Hills 90210???
Just kiddin’ ya!I only said that because I knew that you couldn’t hit me in the neck from there!!
That’s the worst. Just be grateful they weren’t so drunk they puked on you!
If you ever want me to analyze Dylan’s music for you I would be glad to. In my A.P. English class in high school, I was so fortunate to study it because of an addicted teacher:)
Well that just pissed me off. The rebel in me wanted to kick ass retroactively. But at a concert? Ya can’t get TOO pushy. They might have been packin’.
Imagine. Rude, Crude and Socially Unacceptable!!
But I knows wherefore youse is comin’ from sista Yolanda. Them big fat asses weren’t what you’uns paid to see.
Karen, good idea, but I don’t work in the medical field so I have to carefully shepherd all my prescription drugs.
Lola. I am poking a fork in your neck right now.
Caroline, if that had happened, someone WOULD have been hurt, I guarantee it!
Diana, addicted? I don’t know what you are talking about. It wouldn’t be anything like my brother Bob and I sitting in the dark listening to Dylan albums over and over and over again to memorize all the words, would it? I didn’t think so.
Dana, if I ever do go to another concert, I’ll take you, and make sure YOU are packin’.
My 7th grade English teacher used several Dylan songs to illustrate literary points to the class. Mr Gauche what an awesome guy. He used to be in a band that opened for the Stones and he ended up teaching French and English.
As for the bad concert etiquette, I have found that certain comments made very loudly make people sit down and shut up. I.e. “Holy Crap! Its Kirstie Alley! oh wait my bad!”
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