Arriving home from the grocery store yesterday, I left a couple of bags on the floor while making trips from my truck. When I got back to the kitchen, Bronco was standing near one of the bags, polishing off the last of the hot dog buns. Bonnie was sitting several feet away, pointing a manicured paw, saying, “I begged him to leave that alone, but you know how he is. He just wouldn’t listen to me. And now look what he’s done.” There was a time that I would have believed every word. But that was before the Sequin Incident.
Our first faithful canine companion was Zeke, who was as good a dog as there ever was. He considered himself a small furry human, and he had a taste for Fine Food. Once we had friends visiting, and before dinner we snacked on cheese, crackers, and fruit. We left the remains of the hors d’oeuvre on the coffee table while we all took a little house tour. When we got back to the living room, Zeke had his feet on the coffee table and a 2 pound hunk of cheese in his mouth.
I briefly considered acting like I didn’t see a thing, but as soon as I could tell that wasn’t going to work, I reached for the cheese while sweetly asking Zeke to give it up. I was met with “GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.” Then Rick tried it, with similar results, except that he got “GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR” and “ROWWRRRRRRRRRRRRR” and a threatening lip-baring snarl. We finally recovered the cheese by doing a bait-and-switch with a half ham.
And then there was the Sequin Incident. In the puppy days, Bronco was inclined to chew up anything he found, whether it was actually edible or not. Every time we left the dogs alone we would return to find something shredded in the middle of the living room floor. Bronco was usually nearby, looking guilty, while Bonnie met us at the door to tell us that, sadly, Bronco had misbehaved again. The shredded could be newspapers, magazines, shoes, or anything else we had carelessly left in harm’s way. Once it was a beaded and sequinned Christmas ornament that was pulled off the tree and left scattered about the room. We scolded Bronco and went to bed.
The next day, we realized that Bonnie had been fooling us all along, when we noticed during the morning dog walk that she had especially festive poop. Sequinned and beaded.
{ 9 comments }
Ahhhh. The love of a good pet. I have yet to figure out why eating non-food items is so appealing, but you know, Noodles had an affinity for my cell phone. Go figure!
It’s always the innocent looking one.
Try having an Irish Wolfhound in the house with you…she (bless her memory) was taller than any coffee table and could rest her chin on the table in the kitchen…had to keep everything WAY UP on the stove or a counter. She preferred food to ornaments though.
Hmmmm. Everything you said sounded like my nephew. When he was three years old, (too young to farm out for child labor) I was stuck with actually have to babysit…..one of my least favorite things next to milking rabbits.
Oddly enough, there was a finger sized hole miraculously appearing in my living room wall!!!!!!
“JIMMY!!” I said in my most maternal scream from Hades..”WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!” Another stupid question, due to the evidence.
“NOTHING” he said meekly, with drywall dust circling his mouth.
See if Bronco used the port a pot that would be something worth peering into then!
My parents dog jumped a buffet spread and went to town on a ham they had laid out. One of the guests asked my dad if Murphy “was suppossed to be eating the ham” my dad was like: yeah we let him have at it b/f we serve our guests!
Girls are just so smart! Looking innocent and passing the blame off on some guy. I eat everything in the house and blame it on my hubby too:)
I, much like your dogs, am not to be trusted to guard food! When my children need a treat saved while they go play(..or something… )they have learned never to ask, “Mom? Will you hold this for me??”
Growing up we had a dog similar to your Bronco. Buster (the 95 lb 6 month old “puppy”) would always “hop” up on the counter to see what we left up there….especially right after mom had made cookies and left to pick us up from soccer practice. Oh he was so sick the next day! I would’ve given anything to have dealt with festive poop over what we ended up with!
OMG, “Is Murphy supposed to be eating the ham?” I thought I would die laughing!!!!
Comments on this entry are closed.