I have been working like . . .

I was saying to BFF Susan the other night, “I’ve been working like . . .” and she said a mouthful.

“Like a farm animal.”

Amen, sister! I have been planting up a storm.

OK, maybe that doesn’t look like a lot of planting to you, but I had to do a lot of planting prep! And I had to learn all about drip irrigation! And you’re just . . . MEAN!

Whew, sorry. I get a little testy when I have been working like a farm animal. Anyway, I also painted things, and installed a mist system in the chicken coop (summer is nearly here) and worked on my newest foil-the-turkeys system (you will be amazed and delighted). Not to mention preparing lovely meals for the husband.

It has come to my attention that I am a suspected vampire. I will state flatly that, to the best of my knowledge, I am not now nor have I ever been a vampire. I do have a little vampire-related tale though. I once covered the mirror in our bathroom because I was training a baby parakeet there. (Training a bird works best in a small space, and you have to cover mirrors and windows so a panicked bird won’t fly into them.) One day a plumber came to fix the toilet, and seeing the covered mirror, asked if I was afraid of vampires.

I knew I shouldn’t have let him go into the bathroom.

This last thing is really scary. Scarier than vampires. Even scarier than workmen in your bathroom. This weekend the husband and I are going to turn this

into a giant composter. The instructions say it’s a two-man job and takes “just a few hours.” That means for a one woman and one man job, it will take many hours, and there will be tears, cursing, bitching, whining, and probably bloodshed.

If you don’t hear from me Monday, send emergency vee-hickles.