Comments on: My mad mothering skills bear fruit http://www.ithinkwereallbozos.com/2008/05/27/my-mad-mothering-skills-bear-fruit/ Just take it out for a test drive. No obligation. Cheap at twice the price. Tue, 24 Aug 2010 22:19:54 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: mommyc http://www.ithinkwereallbozos.com/2008/05/27/my-mad-mothering-skills-bear-fruit/#comment-698 mommyc Sun, 01 Jun 2008 06:59:49 +0000 http://www.ithinkwereallbozos.com/?p=189#comment-698 I am thankful that we live in the country, because I am a master of the mirror. Unfortunately, my children are masters of tantrums, which means I have become the grand master of tantrums. If you don't believe me, just ask my husband. Ocassionally, I forget that I am in town and mirror my children's outbursts in public. The embarassment factor definitely ups the effectiveness. A screaming red headed 5 foot 11 cowgirl is always a good one to stop the checkout line. As for the hammock, I wish we had one of those. However, a hammock is not necessary, unless your placing bets on where the child will land after spinning. In my house, we just use a blanket. After many a split lip and black eye, we have discovered it is the safest way to quell a terrible two melt down. Simply place the blanket over the flailing limbs and hold tight (a quilt works best). My husband proceeds to chatter for hours about how much he loves the children and how he was punished as a boy (which is surprising because according to both he and his mother, he was a saint). Usually, I become so sick of it, I beg for their mercy. If all else fails, there is plan B. We have not had to use it as of yet, but it is in our SOPs. The shower. If your little torrent cannot get control of themselves, toss em in a shower. It is really just killing two birds wit hone stone, and I gurantee, they'll be too shocked to continue the tantrum. If the shower is not handy, or in my case, your husband is too big to toss in the shower, a garden hose works great. Just make sure it is really long, because you may have to run with it for a while. I am thankful that we live in the country, because I am a master of the mirror. Unfortunately, my children are masters of tantrums, which means I have become the grand master of tantrums. If you don’t believe me, just ask my husband. Ocassionally, I forget that I am in town and mirror my children’s outbursts in public. The embarassment factor definitely ups the effectiveness. A screaming red headed 5 foot 11 cowgirl is always a good one to stop the checkout line. As for the hammock, I wish we had one of those. However, a hammock is not necessary, unless your placing bets on where the child will land after spinning. In my house, we just use a blanket. After many a split lip and black eye, we have discovered it is the safest way to quell a terrible two melt down. Simply place the blanket over the flailing limbs and hold tight (a quilt works best). My husband proceeds to chatter for hours about how much he loves the children and how he was punished as a boy (which is surprising because according to both he and his mother, he was a saint). Usually, I become so sick of it, I beg for their mercy. If all else fails, there is plan B. We have not had to use it as of yet, but it is in our SOPs. The shower. If your little torrent cannot get control of themselves, toss em in a shower. It is really just killing two birds wit hone stone, and I gurantee, they’ll be too shocked to continue the tantrum. If the shower is not handy, or in my case, your husband is too big to toss in the shower, a garden hose works great. Just make sure it is really long, because you may have to run with it for a while.

]]> By: Karen http://www.ithinkwereallbozos.com/2008/05/27/my-mad-mothering-skills-bear-fruit/#comment-657 Karen Wed, 28 May 2008 13:51:01 +0000 http://www.ithinkwereallbozos.com/?p=189#comment-657 So this is why I'm making no progress. I stop with the storries too soon. Thank you Kathi! Maybe now I can win back control of my home! So this is why I’m making no progress. I stop with the storries too soon. Thank you Kathi! Maybe now I can win back control of my home!

]]> By: Kathi D http://www.ithinkwereallbozos.com/2008/05/27/my-mad-mothering-skills-bear-fruit/#comment-655 Kathi D Tue, 27 May 2008 19:09:47 +0000 http://www.ithinkwereallbozos.com/?p=189#comment-655 If any of you have trouble mastering my advanced techniques, I can be hired to work my magic on your Problem Child for mere zillions. Bob, step away from the computer. If any of you have trouble mastering my advanced techniques, I can be hired to work my magic on your Problem Child for mere zillions.

Bob, step away from the computer.

]]> By: bob http://www.ithinkwereallbozos.com/2008/05/27/my-mad-mothering-skills-bear-fruit/#comment-654 bob Tue, 27 May 2008 16:11:35 +0000 http://www.ithinkwereallbozos.com/?p=189#comment-654 I think I saw X's mom on an XXX website, but I'll keep looking anyway. I think I saw X’s mom on an XXX website, but I’ll keep looking anyway.

]]> By: Melissa http://www.ithinkwereallbozos.com/2008/05/27/my-mad-mothering-skills-bear-fruit/#comment-653 Melissa Tue, 27 May 2008 15:52:54 +0000 http://www.ithinkwereallbozos.com/?p=189#comment-653 LMAO crap my mom tried reasoning with us, she tried time-out, the hold, making us take a teaspoon of vinegar if we said a bad word, and many more and then she finally decided to let us suffer the consequences of our own actions. Man that was the worst punishment I Ever got! But I personally am going to look for a good new or used hammock when I have kids LMAO crap my mom tried reasoning with us, she tried time-out, the hold, making us take a teaspoon of vinegar if we said a bad word, and many more and then she finally decided to let us suffer the consequences of our own actions. Man that was the worst punishment I Ever got! But I personally am going to look for a good new or used hammock when I have kids

]]> By: Busty LaRue http://www.ithinkwereallbozos.com/2008/05/27/my-mad-mothering-skills-bear-fruit/#comment-652 Busty LaRue Tue, 27 May 2008 14:48:42 +0000 http://www.ithinkwereallbozos.com/?p=189#comment-652 I wish I had a hammock ! That is a great technique! I've tried what we call "the hold" but it results in several black eyes and bruises (on me, not on baby). I will have to get a hammock and try this one out as I am sure it will work! I wish I had a hammock ! That is a great technique! I’ve tried what we call “the hold” but it results in several black eyes and bruises (on me, not on baby). I will have to get a hammock and try this one out as I am sure it will work!

]]> By: dana wyzard http://www.ithinkwereallbozos.com/2008/05/27/my-mad-mothering-skills-bear-fruit/#comment-651 dana wyzard Tue, 27 May 2008 14:19:02 +0000 http://www.ithinkwereallbozos.com/?p=189#comment-651 Silly gir TOI. The dryer doesn't work because it breaks the hammock. Silly gir TOI. The dryer doesn’t work because it breaks the hammock.

]]> By: Diana http://www.ithinkwereallbozos.com/2008/05/27/my-mad-mothering-skills-bear-fruit/#comment-650 Diana Tue, 27 May 2008 13:58:28 +0000 http://www.ithinkwereallbozos.com/?p=189#comment-650 Oh good stuff! I still have time to use it since I have 2 kids that I could still wrestle to the hammock! I've tried the mimic thing only to continuously be outdone by their mad screams from Hell! I just can't seem to bring myself to that sort of vocal torture. Oh good stuff! I still have time to use it since I have 2 kids that I could still wrestle to the hammock!

I’ve tried the mimic thing only to continuously be outdone by their mad screams from Hell! I just can’t seem to bring myself to that sort of vocal torture.

]]> By: Toi http://www.ithinkwereallbozos.com/2008/05/27/my-mad-mothering-skills-bear-fruit/#comment-649 Toi Tue, 27 May 2008 13:30:54 +0000 http://www.ithinkwereallbozos.com/?p=189#comment-649 Between you and Dana Wyzard's advice I should have no behaviorial problems at all from my future children. I would like to thank you both for this outstanding information as I thought the dryer was always the best bet for discipline, but I was obviously wrong. Between you and Dana Wyzard’s advice I should have no behaviorial problems at all from my future children. I would like to thank you both for this outstanding information as I thought the dryer was always the best bet for discipline, but I was obviously wrong.

]]> By: dana wyzard http://www.ithinkwereallbozos.com/2008/05/27/my-mad-mothering-skills-bear-fruit/#comment-648 dana wyzard Tue, 27 May 2008 12:14:35 +0000 http://www.ithinkwereallbozos.com/?p=189#comment-648 NO NO NO. You're doing it all wrong with the hammock. You put the kid IN the hammock and twirl it around and around until they are wrapped in a cocoon or, as we child specialists like to call it, the crystalis or INNER SANCTUM. Then you have two choices. Either walk away and come back with the crystalis is ready to open, revealing a fully grown adult, OR: (and my favorite) quickly untwirl the hammock and stand back. Be sure to take bets on where the little sweetie will land. You can send him to college,or buy yourself a small island with the winnings. (Be sure and place markers on your yard at the 20, 30 and 40 yard line PRIOR to the unfurling). NO NO NO. You’re doing it all wrong with the hammock. You put the kid IN the hammock and twirl it around and around until they are wrapped in a cocoon or, as we child specialists like to call it, the crystalis or INNER SANCTUM.

Then you have two choices. Either walk away and come back with the crystalis is ready to open, revealing a fully grown adult, OR: (and my favorite) quickly untwirl the hammock and stand back. Be sure to take bets on where the little sweetie will land.

You can send him to college,or buy yourself a small island with the winnings. (Be sure and place markers on your yard at the 20, 30 and 40 yard line PRIOR to the unfurling).

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