Note to mothers: Shut your pie-holes

by Kathi D on April 14, 2008

With all due respect to mothers of human infants, may I just say: YOU HAVE IT SOOOO EASY!

I have not given birth myself, nor have I had the experience of caring for a human infant, but I know that it’s way harder to raise up fifteen baby chickens. Let’s look at the evidence, shall we?

  • Baby human. Sucks on mother for sustenance. Built-in all-purpose food.
  • Baby chickens. Drive to feed store, purchase highly specialized food, bring it home, find a way to contain it, dole it out in proper amounts. And water. Don’t forget the water. And if I am not mistaken, baby humans don’t poop into their food.
  • Baby human. Lives in the house you already have. No extra housing required.
  • Baby chickens. Best in outbuilding. Must also supply some kind of box, heat source, bedding. They also poop in the bedding. No easily changed diapers.
  • Baby human. Stays in one place unless you pick it up and put it somewhere else, at your sole discretion.
  • Baby chickens. Run all over hell and gone, especially if you are trying to catch one, and then even if you put them in something that you think is totally secure, guess what, they have wings and they can FLY. Again, unless I have missed something in the notes, baby humans have not gained the power of flight.
  • Baby human. Usually arrive one or two at a time.
  • Baby chickens. Did you hear me say fifteen?
  • Baby human. As they grow, housing needs remain fairly consistent. Take the railing off the crib and eureka! it’s a toddler bed.
  • Baby chickens. Grow from the outbuilding in a box to full-fledged chicken coop. Requires new construction.

Now, I don’t want to act like everything about raising up humans is easier than chickens. As far as I know, baby humans will never lay eggs. Also, they grow into teenagers at some point.

But up until then. Well, I’m just saying.


View this Post in: Chinese(S) Chinese(T) French Arabic Bulgarian Croatian Czech Danish Dutch Finnish German Greek Hindi Italian Japanese Korean Norwegian Polish Portuguese Romanian Russian Spanish Swedish

Share This Post

{ 1 trackback }

M is for
05.09.08 at 11:17 am

{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

Hey It's Di 04.14.08 at 5:12 pm

Yeah, kids are all fun and games (well sort of) until they are teenagers. And then having teens is like being pecked to death by a bunch of chickens:D


View this Comment in: Chinese(S) Chinese(T) French Arabic Bulgarian Croatian Czech Danish Dutch Finnish German Greek Hindi Italian Japanese Korean Norwegian Polish Portuguese Romanian Russian Spanish Swedish

jen 04.14.08 at 6:23 pm

Baby chickens, usually dead and gone within a year, maybe two. Baby humans, still a big fat pain in the ass after fifty years. Just ask my mom. ;-)


View this Comment in: Chinese(S) Chinese(T) French Arabic Bulgarian Croatian Czech Danish Dutch Finnish German Greek Hindi Italian Japanese Korean Norwegian Polish Portuguese Romanian Russian Spanish Swedish

Lola 04.14.08 at 9:19 pm

Kathi! You have made me feel so much better about my life! I only have 6 kids ages 1-13. You have 15 babies at the same time!! It’s a miracle you can find time to blog!

:p


View this Comment in: Chinese(S) Chinese(T) French Arabic Bulgarian Croatian Czech Danish Dutch Finnish German Greek Hindi Italian Japanese Korean Norwegian Polish Portuguese Romanian Russian Spanish Swedish

i'm kelly 04.14.08 at 11:11 pm

i totally hear you! at least you can put a diaper on a baby.


View this Comment in: Chinese(S) Chinese(T) French Arabic Bulgarian Croatian Czech Danish Dutch Finnish German Greek Hindi Italian Japanese Korean Norwegian Polish Portuguese Romanian Russian Spanish Swedish

Kitt 04.14.08 at 11:36 pm

Well, at least you needn’t worry about someone calling CPS on you!

Unless there’s a Chicken Protective Services I haven’t heard about.


View this Comment in: Chinese(S) Chinese(T) French Arabic Bulgarian Croatian Czech Danish Dutch Finnish German Greek Hindi Italian Japanese Korean Norwegian Polish Portuguese Romanian Russian Spanish Swedish

kathi d 04.15.08 at 12:49 am

I am so glad You People see it my way. I have noticed that Some People get all “huffy” when I try to explain things like this to them.


View this Comment in: Chinese(S) Chinese(T) French Arabic Bulgarian Croatian Czech Danish Dutch Finnish German Greek Hindi Italian Japanese Korean Norwegian Polish Portuguese Romanian Russian Spanish Swedish

bob 04.15.08 at 5:48 am

and of course, there’s chicken soup.


View this Comment in: Chinese(S) Chinese(T) French Arabic Bulgarian Croatian Czech Danish Dutch Finnish German Greek Hindi Italian Japanese Korean Norwegian Polish Portuguese Romanian Russian Spanish Swedish

kathi d 04.15.08 at 11:51 am

I am locking up your guns when you visit, Bob.


View this Comment in: Chinese(S) Chinese(T) French Arabic Bulgarian Croatian Czech Danish Dutch Finnish German Greek Hindi Italian Japanese Korean Norwegian Polish Portuguese Romanian Russian Spanish Swedish

Brie 04.16.08 at 3:11 pm

Kath, you crack me up. But let me ask you… did your chickens by any chance just tell you 5 minutes ago you need to drive them (along with all their siblings - ok that’s 14 to you but 3 to me) to the county library across town to pick up 3 books about the Boston Tea Party? Due tomorrow! Good times over here ;) I hope your Davey A gets to stay tonight on AI :D


View this Comment in: Chinese(S) Chinese(T) French Arabic Bulgarian Croatian Czech Danish Dutch Finnish German Greek Hindi Italian Japanese Korean Norwegian Polish Portuguese Romanian Russian Spanish Swedish

Karen 05.09.08 at 7:00 pm

I remember my place in the world. Thank you for remindining me that I do not work hard enough. I’ll be building a coop tomorrow, after I get back from prison… I must do better! PS I’m taking my back to the joint!!!


View this Comment in: Chinese(S) Chinese(T) French Arabic Bulgarian Croatian Czech Danish Dutch Finnish German Greek Hindi Italian Japanese Korean Norwegian Polish Portuguese Romanian Russian Spanish Swedish

Karen 05.10.08 at 1:47 pm

it was supposed to say I’m taking my bag to prison. My fabulous bag that someone fabulous gave me!


View this Comment in: Chinese(S) Chinese(T) French Arabic Bulgarian Croatian Czech Danish Dutch Finnish German Greek Hindi Italian Japanese Korean Norwegian Polish Portuguese Romanian Russian Spanish Swedish

Kathi D 05.10.08 at 2:20 pm

I knew that. I have mad ESP skills.


View this Comment in: Chinese(S) Chinese(T) French Arabic Bulgarian Croatian Czech Danish Dutch Finnish German Greek Hindi Italian Japanese Korean Norwegian Polish Portuguese Romanian Russian Spanish Swedish

foolery 08.26.08 at 10:16 pm

The other thing about baby chickens is it’s so hard to teach them English. Spanish? Not quite as hard, but still hard.


View this Comment in: Chinese(S) Chinese(T) French Arabic Bulgarian Croatian Czech Danish Dutch Finnish German Greek Hindi Italian Japanese Korean Norwegian Polish Portuguese Romanian Russian Spanish Swedish

Leave a Comment

You can use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

UA-3572052